I met a guy on the online dating site. He was a successful pilot, and he was smart and funny. I was pretty excited. On date night, he showed up at my door with a bouquet of flowers. Good idea. We went to dinner at a great restaurant and a had a nice conversation. During dinner, I mentioned that my friend's band was playing in the area. He suggested that we go grab a drink and listen to the band. Another good idea. We snagged seats at the bar and ordered drinks. As we relaxed and enjoyed the music, the unthinkable happened. The pilot totally ripped a fart...right there at the flipping bar! Really bad idea. I'm assuming that he was under the impression I couldn't smell anything because I had been suffering from sinus issues. It was one of those silent, but deadly moments and no such luck...I could smell. The flatulence continued throughout the evening. I was horrified and disgusted and finally said that I was tired and needed to get home. When we got out to the car, that crazy tried to kiss me. Gross! He dropped me off at my apartment and attempted the awkward lingering act. Again, I let him know that I was exhausted and ready for bed. He left.
About three minutes later, I get a text. "I am just so tired. I kinda wish you would have asked me to crash on your couch". Wow...guy has some serious balls. It wasn't like I forgot to invite him to stay...I promise you it was intentional. I certainly wasn't looking to wake up in the night with a stinker trying to sneak into my bed. I didn't respond to the text or return any phone calls for a couple of days. I guess he got the hint because I didn't hear from him again.
Moral of the story: It's not cool when you are expecting a polished pilot and you get a gas man.
beautifully told story. love it... (the story, that is, not the gas).
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